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Life and Conduct of the Holy Women, Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca

Unknown

Section 26

About this work

Author: Unknown

XXVI. Polyxena, however, going out of

‹ Section 25 Section 27 ›

the

city

,

and

not

knowing

by

what

way

she

should

walk

,

found

herself

in

desert

places

of

the

hills

,

and

sitting

down

said

thus

with

tears

,

Woe

is

me

,

outcast

and

captive

,

that

I

cannot

find

even

a

wild

beast’s

den

to

rest

in

.

Woe

is

me

,

left

desolate

,

that

not

even

Hades

,

that

no

one

escapes

,

has

devoured

me

.

Woe

is

me

,

who

at

one

time

showed

myself

not

even

to

my

servants

,

and

now

display

myself

to

demons

.

Woe

is

me

,

that

I

am

now

made

manifest

to

all

those

by

whom

I

disdained

to

be

seen

.

Alas

for

me

that

was

formerly

devoted

to

idols

;

for

this

now

even

the

mercy

of

God

has

passed

me

in

silence

.

Whom

,

then

,

shall

I

call

upon

to

help

me

?

The

God

of

Paul

whom

I

have

constantly

offended

?

But

who

shall

help

me

now

?

No

one

sees

or

heeds

or

hears

my

groaning

.

Verily

I

shall

beseech

Him

that

sees

the

hidden

things

,

for

who

is

more

pitiful

and

compassionate

than

He

who

always

keeps

watch

over

the

oppressed

?

But

because

my

mouth

is

unclean

and

defiled

,

I

dare

not

ask

help

from

Him

.

Would

that

I

were

as

one

of

the

wild

beasts

that

I

might

not

know

what

captivity

is

.

Would

that

I

had

been

drowned

in

the

sea

;

perhaps

having

received

the

divine

baptism

I

should

have

gone

where

no

one

is

made

captive

.

What

then

shall

I

do

,

for

death

delays

,

and

night

has

come

on

,

and

there

is

no

help

anywhere

.

Having

said

thus

,

she

arose

and

began

to

walk

onwards

,

and

passing

through

a

small

defile

she

fell

into

a

wood

very

thick

and

large

,

and

finding

there

a

hollow

in

a

tree

,

which

was

the

den

of

a

lioness

,

she

sat

down

there

,

for

the

lioness

had

gone

forth

for

her

food

.

And

sitting

down

she

said

,

O

wretched

begetting

,

O

grievous

hour

in

which

I

,

unhappy

one

,

came

into

this

world

;

O

mother

that

bore

me

,

why

,

foreseeing

my

troubles

and

wanderings

,

didst

thou

name

me

Polyxena

?

Has

any

other

ever

fallen

into

such

tribulations

and

misfortunes

?

Truly

,

my

sister

Xanthippe

,

didst

thou

read

concerning

me

,

unhappy

one

,

saying

,

I

have

suffered

affliction

and

been

utterly

bowed

down

(

—

Psalm

xxxviii

.

6

)

.

These

words

thou

didst

utter

with

grief

,

while

I

lay

upon

the

couch

,

thinking

not

at

all

of

my

sorrows

.

On

this

account

I

have

now

come

into

the

depths

of

evils

,

and

pass

the

night

in

deserts

like

a

wild

beast

.

But

the

beasts

live

with

others

of

their

kind

,

while

I

am

left

solitary

,

as

not

being

of

one

race

with

mankind

.